i resented you since the moment you entered camp. befriending my friends, befriending me. asking me the history of the belongings in my room. treating me very seriously, very kindly. it made me anxious. made me want to vomit. i felt a horror in the pit of my stomach. i wanted to exorcise you from me. i missed him. i just wanted him to be here. him back. and instead i got you. a very kind, gentle, honest person. introspective and curious. grateful for the company, for a place to stay. and wearing his body.